Can’t help it. I love this girl.
Today at my home, we had after-school and after-work treats! My daughter wanted a snack during a break from homework, and made something that brought back fond childhood memories: bread and butter with cinnamon sugar. I hadn’t remembered that since I-don’t-know-when, and I was delighted she wanted such an easy, simple treat (versus the usual pizza, or McDonalds, or some gourmet dish).
It made me so glad I saved the left-over sugar from a recipe I used way back when. My mom used to give this treat to my brothers and I after school; we really had no money, and my mom was always dead tired from raising us while working part-time and going to school herself full-time. We just thought it was great. How can anyone not love bread and butter? And a little sugar makes it even sweeter!
My treat had far fewer calories. Two packages in the mail!! Oh, how I love coming home to packages, and to find two, is double the delight. One was my monthly subscription from Studio Calico, which is always exciting and fun; lots of goodies for scrapbooking (if you scrapbook, I highly recommend looking into this). The other is from Cocoa Daisy, and it contains the kit I will use for my On The Road project. I can’t wait to start this, and I will be documenting the process.
Any one who scrapbooks and is taking this self-paced class I invite to contact me; I would love to share the process with you, and see how you are going to make your book! This I am really going to enjoy; Ali Edwards designs the most beautiful albums, in my humble opinion. My hope is that my husband and I will be able to take a special trip in the future, and I’ll be able to use this journal to document it. We have been dreaming of a trip to New York for years, but just going to the coast for a weekend would be great, too. Please let me know if anyone out there is doing this class! Have a great evening.
I have a confession to make: I was at a total loss today about what to post. Is life that boring and uneventful? No, I’m just brain-fried from work today. So, I came up with this little idea of going to my photo folder, randomly picking a photo, and talking about the story behind it. This is what we have:
This is my little girl and her daddy. This photo was taken on the last day they saw each other, before my ex had to hop on a plane and go back home. These two hadn’t seen each other except once when my daughter, Noelle, was 5, and before that, she was 2, and has no memory of it. She’s now 11, and is getting to know her father, relatively speaking, for the first time. Unfortunately, he doesn’t live close by, and she gets quite sad because she has missed so much, and doesn’t want to miss any more. But at least she now has him in her life.
Long story short, mistakes were made, and Noelle’s father and I should never have gotten married or remained together when I found out that I was pregnant. We thought we were doing the right thing, however wrong we were. He was so unhappy, he moved out one day while I was at work, and I came home to a half-empty home, and a half-empty heart. It took at least two years for the tears to finally stop, and to get my life back into a forward-moving direction. I still have regrets (and most likely always will) about not appreciating my baby as much as I could have during that time. I was not in the present moment like I should have been; I was not the mother my girl deserved. But Noelle was too young to remember having her father around, and fast-forward ten years, out of the blue, she began asking questions about him. What is he like? Where does he live? Who is his family? And, the touchy one: What happened between you two? No, I do not tell her all of the truth. I tell her what she needs to know; that Mommy and Daddy just weren’t happy together and Daddy needed to go someplace else where he could find that happiness on his own. All other inquiries, I suggested one day, she should ask him about, if she’s interested. Luckily, she was and she did. I was always hoping that they would eventually find a way back to each other and renew that sacred relationship between father and daughter. I’m a believer that a child needs both parents equally, even if they cannot live together. And when we did contact him, I discovered something magical that gives me a wonderful feeling: all that water has passed under the bridge (and the bridge didn’t burn). There has been a tremendous amount of forgiveness and healing that has taken place between Noelle’s father and I; no regrets, no bitterness, no animosity, no unhealed scars. We speak to each other just like two people who happen to be in love with the same little girl and want nothing but the best for her. Complete cooperation, understanding, and respect between us, and we are so lucky to be able to be on the same page there. I feel so happy for Noelle to be able to have her daddy in her life; the one man who calls her his princess, the one man who loves her as much as I do…and I am so happy that there are no bad feelings to hide in the process. None. ZERO. I have been blessed, I know it, and I am so very thankful. That is just another reason why I love photos; they preserve the memories and keep the significance of life fresh and alive.
Last night was Saturday night, and in between surfing the internet and doing some digital scrapbook work, I chanced upon Facebook to see what’s going on. People were getting ready to go out. Drinking. Dancing. Parties. Shopping. Movies. And me? In my sweats, on my butt in front of my computer. A little too much fun, huh? As I was starting to have ‘poor me’ thoughts swirl around in my head, in comes my sweet daughter with goodies for us to share together: hot cocoa and gingerbread cookies. We sat together, she with her Mac, and I with my PC, drinking cocoa, munching on cookies, laughing at each other, watching the rain gently caress the window in front of us, and listening to the North Point church play christmas music on their iPads on YouTube. You know what? I bet I had way more fun than anyone posting on Facebook! I had a super fun, super cool Saturday night with my munchkin, and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
By the way, the North Point video is awesome! Check it out http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F9XNfWNooz4!
My daughter and I have adopted our own Christmas tradition. We make gingerbread houses for the season. Knowing me, of course, they come from a box purchased at a local retailer. We just open the packaging and put stuff together. Not the real thing? Of course not. But you have to understand me: no Christmas tree in the house (too expensive and too much mess); no homemade cookies or treats (yet– no time); no lights (where to put them?), etc. You might call me the Grinch, or Scrooge, but the honest truth is I’m lazy. There, I admit it. Working full time and owning a part-time business takes a lot out of a girl. Well, that and poor planning. I have vowed to myself and to my poor daughter that next year will be different; I will start planning in August. Or September. No later than Halloween. I promise!
Nonetheless, we have managed to create our tradition and stick to it, even if the base of it came out of a box from Costco. We spent some good, quality time together having fun, and I managed to take some photos and scrap them. Years from now, my daughter can see that for Christmas I at least managed to something.