I sometimes have those days, lately, in which I find myself particularly sensitive to everyone around me. My rational brain and my emotional brain are in a battle, and the emotional side is winning. I’m working like a dog at work today, but instead of feeling accomplished, I feel somewhat worthless, as some coworkers forget I’m there, unless a sudden emergency comes up. Then I feel just taken for granted. Trying to shake myself out of this self-hate jag while driving home, I was unsuccessful and my mind started wandering to other areas of my life, like Retrospect, and especially my blog. I am in an unsettled place with this blog. I have been on this mission, this commitment to blog every day, for one entire year. That’s 365 days. 3-6-5. Some days have been easier than others. Lately, it’s been feeling like a chore, instead of an exciting challenge I feel privileged to partake in. I have to start wondering: am I really getting anything out of this? Am I really becoming a better blogger, just as Word Press proposed? Has my visibility increased, or have I gathered a flock of new followers who are dying to find out what I have to say today? No. Nope. Nyet. Nein. Not even close. I was honestly surprised to discover that I have 6 subscribers. Hubby only has a subscription to my blog because I physically put myself at his computer and subscribed for him!! My mother doesn’t even follow me…I’ve even sent her the link, several times, and crossed my fingers. Nada. Nonetheless, this is not a pity party. It makes me very grateful for the six wonderful people who do subscribe; I do thank you from the bottom of my heart, which makes my next decision difficult: should I just quit? Or, perhaps I should reduce my blogging to once a week? I hate the idea of giving up on this challenge; I thought it would be really cool to be able to say I never missed a single day, and I don’t like the idea of being a quitter, but I also thought I would have gotten more out of this. Had I not looked up who subscribes to me, I would truly believe that just dropping off would amount to a hill of beans. Who would care, right? On the other hand, aside from being a wussy quitter, I may never see any real change. What if I just haven’t reached my peak? What if I have a wave of inspiration that spreads throughout the scrapbook world and I suddenly find myself having throngs of engaged readers filling out my comment box left and right? I suppose my answer lies in my own queries: who do I blog for, and why? Does it really matter if anyone reads this or not? If it does, how do I create a more engaging blog? These are the questions I need to mull over and reflect upon before I can go forward. I think I will start blogging once a week from now on…I will pick one day of the week to be my “blog day”, and hopefully fill it with many interesting, creative ideas; stories and photos. And hopefully, my six wonderful subscribers will still be around.